I must say this was a new way, he just blocked me and my friends on facebook. No reason why, no explanation, no warning. I just woke up one morning and he had blocked me. This might not sound so bad if it wasn't pretty much my only means of communication with him and that we'd had a perfectly normal conversation only 2 days before.
To be honest I think I'm still in denial. Although it happened 3 weeks ago I still don't know what to think. I've been to busy to actually spend time thinking about it. I had a school ski trip, then a week in China. I think over the last few days it's actually hit me, I've been a funk all week and I don't know why. I still occasionaly check his facebook but to be honest don't see the point. He obviously doesn't give a crap about me, or my feelings.
I feel like I've wasted 11 months of my life, that's probably the hardest part. I put so much effort into making that relationship work, another long distance one, another year of crying myself to sleep because I missed him, or getting mad at myself for not talking to him everyday. I'm just so fed up of being lied to and made to feel like I'm not worth the time or the effort for a decent goodbye.
Every guy I've been out with has said to me "I promise I won't ever dump you" and to each one, except maybe the first I've always said "Don't make promises you don't know if you'll be able to keep" the synic inside of me knew it wasn't true, yet the romantic in me, that small tiny part hoped it would be. I just want to feel like I really mean something to someone, like they all have to me. I don't know how much more rejection I can take. For someone who's not yet 18 to have their heart broken this many times cannot be healthy. This combined with all the crap that's going on at home and at school I'm still surprised I haven't lost the plot yet.
To make things worse, he's gone and unblocked me, just me. What does that mean? Do I get in touch? I still have all of his crap to give back? I just don't know what to do anymore.
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