I think part of the problem is, I've got nothing to look forward to, no light at the end of the tunnel so to speak. There's not one thing that I can think of and count down the number of days till it happens. I've always had something for the past 3 years. Whether it be my ex coming back, visiting my friend in America or seeing my boyfriend, I've always had something and now nothing. There's no fixed plans to do anything, not to see anyone, not to go anywhere. I feel like there's no purpose, it's just a chore to get through each day. Of course I still have good times, I'm not saying my life's crap all of the time, just most of it. There are some days, like today where I physically don't want to do anything, I comfort eat and watch endless amounts of shit TV. I don't do my homework, I don't check off things on my to do list, I just waste time.
Today I woke up with one thing to do, finish all my homework, especially chemistry. Yet here I am, 10pm and I didn't even vaguely attempt it.
I don't know, I just don't seem bothered to do anything anymore. I see all these people, on facebook, on youtube, everywhere who seem to be enjoying life. I used to be one of those people, I used to be upbeat and happy. Now not so much, I'm just jealous of everyone else, you see these people who seem to have the perfect family, perfect body, perfect boyfriend and part of me wonders why I can't have that. I mean it's not like I'm not a good person, I help my friends, I do my part, I try hard in school, I look after my family, so why does it all seem to be falling apart at the seams. It's just not fair and I don't know how much longer I can deal with it anymore.
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